The scene: It’s late. We’re up talking. And it’s about the wedding, of all things. I know, you’re amazed.
I guess it wasn’t so much about the wedding as it was about what comes after. Yeah, we’ve talked about logistics, about finances, about family, about the future before… but this weekend is when we put all these plans into action. Not every plan goes into action immediately, but the wheels start turning just a little bit faster: we’re not waiting on anything else to begin most plans.
We’ve heard conflicting reports about what happens after we turn in out papers. Some say that not much changes, and some say, “don’t let anybody fool you, marriage changes everything.” And some say that you should be married until you feel married.
In these last few weeks of preparation, we’ve started to feel married.
I don’t know if it’s the focused trips together, the working together on this project,the personal disappointments and focusing on concurrent goals, or each of us accomplishing personal goals… But it’s been nice to feel more “settled in” and confident in each other. I think we’re ready for this weekend.
So what do you think? Does marriage change a lot or very little?
The Event of Awesomeness 
I didn’t live with Zach before we got married, so it changed things in that way. But otherwise, I think it’s about the same.
Since Trae and I lived together before we tied the knot, I didn’t feel that a whole lot changed besides getting mail addressed to “Mrs. John Carson” and getting all gitty when I got to introduce “my husband” 🙂
The best advice I ever got about marriage was just days before my fairly stressful event over 36 years ago. A female professor told me to be committed but don’t be too serious about “The Marriage.” If everything becomes about “The Marriage,” then everything changes.
So my advice is to just keep doing what you’re doing. Have fun. Don’t screw around. Oh, and separate checking accounts. At least that’s what works for us.
Hell yes, it changed stuff for us. I get to sponsor his green card. He gets to be on my health insurance. We have just a bit more security despite being of different nationalities. I could go on and on about the legal bens–heck YES, it changed things. (We lived together for 8 months before legally wedding in March.)
Mmm, health insurance. He’ll definitely be on mine, so he gets some decent coverage for the same price.
I definitely agree about separate checking.We’ll probably get one joint savings account, eventually.
Thanks!
I don’t think it changed that much for Nate and I. Maybe because we dated for so long before? Maybe because we balance each other out (his turboness vs. my easygoing) but it works, and it’s good.
And still 2 years later, I’m not used to being addressed as Mrs. Acuff, but I still get warm fuzzies being introduced as “this is my wife, Ashley”
Your warm fuzzies make me smile, Ashley. I _am_ looking forward to (imagining while I’m not there, too) him saying, “My wife/lifepartner, Alex, made X”, probably referring to printed materials and probably while talking to people from whom he wants a job. (I know I’ve got the skill sets to be employed in several industries/markets, not worried about that.)
It was all the same to me. I remember at my reception dancing with my dad and he asked me how I felt. I told him nothing felt different, it felt the same, and he said “good”
Actually, looking back, we both agree that marriage for us is easier than being engaged. I guess it’s because we moved in with each other when we became engaged, so by the time we got married we had worked out the kinks?